Writer Patrick Maguire and director Jessica Meade spoke to Damon Fairclough about A Billion Times I Love You.
Patrick, what’s the story at the heart of A Billion Times I Love You?
PATRICK MAGUIRE: This is a play about a 20-something queer couple trying to fit themselves into the mould of a heteronormative life. It's about how that affects their love for each other, the ways they communicate, and the way they live their lives.
Where did the idea for the play come from?
PATRICK: It really started with a moment of homophobia. A friend of mine has two women neighbours who are a couple, and they were fighting in the street. The next day, another close neighbour came for a gossip and said, “Well, they’re all like that aren’t they?” – meaning that all lesbian women are angry, fighty couples.
I wondered where that prejudice came from, and it set me off on this journey of having this couple – these two women – discussing their relationship and trying to communicate. They express their frustrations, but equally they talk about how much they care for each other, what's best for each other, and how they're going to grow together.
Could you talk me through the play’s journey from first idea through to this new Everyman production?
PATRICK: I initially wrote it in response to an open call out by Hope Mill in Manchester – it was a big competition with Jonathan Harvey involved in the judging. That didn't come to fruition, but I felt the script was too good to just leave it there.
So when I saw that Homotopia in Liverpool were requesting new scripts for their partnership with the Everyman, I thought that was a perfect opportunity. And everything came together from there. We had a rehearsed reading which had a good response – and now we’re doing it!
Jessica, how did you come to be involved as director?
JESSICA MEADE: I have a really good relationship with Homotopia, as my theatre company was part of QueerCore, their bespoke artist development programme. So they approached me, saying “We've got this play that’s perfect for you”.
I asked why, and they said “It's a love story!”. So that’s how my relationship with the play started, and how me and Patrick – and Jesse and Taylor, the characters in the play – all met one another.
You’ve both been through the Young Everyman Playhouse (YEP) programme, Jessica as a director and Patrick as a writer. How did it help you?
JESSICA: I think learning in and around the Everyman has helped shape my understanding of theatre making – on stage, but also beyond the stage. I’ve been around the people I want to direct plays for, and the stages I want to direct plays on, so doing this play feels like coming full circle.
I don't think there's anything quite like YEP to be honest. My first-year show was on the Everyman’s main stage, so to be given that trust as an emerging theatre maker is really special.
PATRICK: I was on the Young Writers programme around eight years ago when I was about 25 so coming back now with A Billion Times I Love You is a dream come true.
Patrick, could you tell us a bit about Jesse and Taylor, the play’s two characters?
PATRICK: In my own life I’ve sometimes been surrounded by issues around addiction or mental health issues, and I’ve been concerned about what you carry with you into relationships with other people if you’re in that situation, particularly romantic relationships.
So in Taylor's case, she comes from a background of possible neglect, and maybe a parent has let her down multiple times, so when she meets somebody who she thinks might be as interested in her romantically as she is with them, it becomes apparent that she's never learnt how to express love, and she has to learn it for the first time with this person. And this at the same time as becoming super-adult really fast.
Whereas Jesse has come into the relationship feeling that her life’s a bit directionless, so she finds it a lot easier to try and help somebody else – Taylor – with their dreams. But then that causes contention and resentment.
The difference between them, I think, is that Taylor knows what she wants but she doesn't really know how to express it. Whereas Jesse doesn't quite know what she wants, but knows how to express everything else.
These are two characters in conflict and there’s a gulf of understanding between them, which is often poignant and sometimes sad, but it’s also a very funny play. How will you handle this balance between humour and darkness?
JESSICA: I think with any play, it’s important to find the light among the dark, and I think what strikes me as the real moments of truth in this text are those moments where Taylor and Jesse know how to make each other laugh. It’s definitely something that helps them navigate the tricky stuff.
And from a director’s perspective, I think a really good way to open an audience's heart is to make them laugh. Sometimes when you watch really good theatre, it can almost feel like you stop breathing for a while… but laughter can give you a release.
If you had to sum up the show in just a few words, how would you describe it?
PATRICK: ‘Subtle emotional violences’ – things that sometimes we’re not even aware we’re doing to one another. The hurt of these moments can feel so painful, especially when they’re coming from the person we love most, the person has the ability to bring us just as much joy and happiness.
JESSICA: I'm really drawn to the things that aren’t actually said. A lot of this play is about what’s not said and everything in between – “the volume is up but there’s no communication” as it says in the play.
PATRICK: Sometimes I've said that the play's quite reflective, and that you’ll be able to see aspects of your own behaviour and your own relationships in it. I’d say the play is coloured by the lights and darks of all our relationships.
JESSICA: I think that universal element is something that will really appeal to people. But of course, what also makes it really important right now is the queerness of it. Putting this queer love story on the main stage right now makes it particularly special.
How do you both feel about having a play at the Everyman?
PATRICK: I'll be honest, it’s been a challenging year for me, and the universe couldn't have picked either a worse or better time for this to happen. I'm being pulled in different directions and yet I've been given this beautiful, wonderful thing.
So I hope that everybody who comes to see it or works on it loves and enjoys it and laughs at it as much as I do. It makes me happy, so that's what I want for everybody.
JESSICA: It's massive - I feel incredible about it. It's a brilliant step up in my career, I'm delighted to be making this step with A Billion Times I Love You.
Finally, what will people discover in this play and why should they come?
PATRICK: Someone said to me that when they read it, they almost felt like a voyeur in the room with Jesse and Taylor. So I think people should come and see that honesty – plus there’s intrigue, and it’s a bit salacious, and a bit gossipy maybe. You can be a fly on the wall in their lives.
I reckon you'll have a good time – and you'll laugh as much as you'll be asked questions!
JESSICA: The Everyman really presents that opportunity to be a spectator. It's an observation of another relationship that can encourage you to also look at the relationships that you have, and the way that you communicate with other people. It's a feast of communication styles and attachment styles, and yeah, a real psychological observation.
